Wednesday, January 21, 2009

thought dream 011809

He burned the toast
He buttered the dog
He butchered the beans
He buttressed the omelet
He blemished the poultry
He burnished the peas
He bit down on a chunk of broken glass
(What the hell?!)
He bruised the oven
He bumped his noggin
He bludgeoned the turnips
He blundered the backstroke
He bloodied the pinstripe
He blistered the swordfish
He broke the bread-knife
He boxed up his hopes and aspirations
He burped up his buttons
He buttoned up his breakfast
He blew up his black balloons
and sat back and watched it all burn down.

It was, all in all, not a good start to the day.

5 comments:

Liam said...

Disturbingly familiar. It reminds me of my 39th birthday, when I stepped on broken glass and my ice cream cake caught on fire.

cowboyangel said...

Crystal,

Thanks. A smiley face is probably the most succinct and positive criticism I'll ever receive!

Liam,

One of these days, post-dissertation, you're going to have to spend some time explaining to me how an ice cream cake can catch on fire.

Your birthday sounds like that Valentine's (?) episode of Fraiser, when Niles winds up setting the apartment on fire.

Liam said...

It was pretty funny. It was right after IPAO blew out her knee, so she couldn't leave the apartment (on 113th st). She sent young filius down to the Haagan Daas store, and he came back with an ice cream cake in a cardboard box. I don't know why she lit the candles without taking it out of the box, but at that moment (I was in my room) filius got a nosebleed and she went to help him. She called to me and I went into the hall and looked toward the kitchen where the lid of the box had closed of its own accord, on top of the lit candles. My cake was on fire. I can't remember if this was before or after a glass broke and I stepped on it. A good time was had by all, if seasoned a bit by blood and flame.

cowboyangel said...

Brilliant. I would pay good money to see that reproduced in a film.

Liam said...

I checked with my wife. Stepping on the broken glass was prior to the fire. I probably went into my room to get slippers or something. There was blood everywhere. And fire. Happy birthday to me!